Archive for August, 2007

A Story about Death

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

 

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like:” If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror and ask of my life, would I want to do what I am bout to do today?” And whenever the answer has been ”No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s coder for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor, I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to e a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinion drown out your own inner follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

 

融化心中的冰點

Monday, August 13th, 2007

    一位著名的心理學家,他花了十多年,找一萬多人做一些心理方面的實驗。實驗的結果顯示,悲觀的人往往會自怨自艾就無故的生出病來,嚴重的會導致死亡。

    心理學家做了這個一個實驗來說明:

    有倆個犯人,其中一個叫尼克的身痊絕症,在得知自己生命不久時,他是很悲傷的,因為他一直等著早一點出獄和家裏人團聚。他的種種不幸讓醫生産生了憐憫之情,為了不讓他在悲傷中死去,醫生對了撒了個謊騙他說他的癌細胞已經不見了,也就是說他不會死。他非常高興,每天以感恩的心態快樂的過著,結果兩年後他不但沒死而且他的癌細胞奇蹟般的不見了。

    有另外一個叫塞利的死囚,在他知道快執行死刑時,他生活在極度恐懼和悲哀中。當他被帶到死刑房躺著並著電刑時,行刑師給他注射了麻醉劑並告訴塞利說他馬上就要死了,然後就把電源接上了,但意外的是突然停電了,於是臨時延刑。當行刑師去幫他松綁時,卻發現他已經死亡了。

    其實,尼克的本來注定死於癌症的,但他用僅用快樂和樂觀的態度就戰勝病魔。而塞利呢,一針麻醉並非令他致病,他卻死了,他相信他一定很快就死了,這使得他連試著呼吸的念頭都沒有,所以窒息而死。

    如果有一天,我們變得什麽都不感相信了,我們同樣會死於無法預料的各種各樣的心中的冰點。相反,如果我們在絕境中仍相信自己的能力會令到處境形勢扭轉,而奇蹟也真的往往會發生在這類人身上,在逆境中繼而出現了新的轉機。